5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
