I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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