If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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