Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
