do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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