I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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