Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
