I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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