I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize