Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
