It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize