we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
