He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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