If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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