you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Even my vagina gasped.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
