Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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