Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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