I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
