I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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