so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
