i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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