new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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