Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize