Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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