when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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