Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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