Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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