so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
