If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
