You're so nebulous sometimes
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She bit a glass in half.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
