Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
birth control should be required to get into college
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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