Having a random hookup so left but love u
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
