I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize