why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
