only if we run a train.
done.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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