me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
