The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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