One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Four minutes until I can fart!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
