If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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