I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
