Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
