I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
