So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
