I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize