Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
