It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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