Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
