You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
