I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
