I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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