Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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