If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
