okay pat passed out under dana's car
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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