sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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