Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
