my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize