She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
