singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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